Our Teens in the Time of Covid

We've had a hell of a year. If you're still standing upright, hair intact, somewhat sane, and haven't adopted more than 10 pets since the beginning of Covid, then you're doing okay in the scheme of things. But what about our teenagers? This year has wreaked havoc on their lives and has driven them into some very unhealthy behaviors. Mental health issues among our teens are up almost 50 percent since the start of Covid, and more in teen girls than boys. Anxiety and depression along with negative changes in their sleep and aggressive behaviors have reared their ugly heads as our teens have been required to stay away from their friends and the activities they love.

Teenagers are primed to seek independence from their families at this stage of their lives. It is a time when they find their way in life, discover who they are, and who they want to be. But with Covid, there is no time for independence, hanging out with friends, playing those cherished sports, finding those special loves, being absolutely silly, or even a little reckless. Instead, they are trapped. Even worse, they are trapped with their parents and fear of the unknown. In addition, they are disconnected from their friends and possibly feeling stress from their parents. So what now? Where does a teen go? What does a teen do? Well, if you think your teen is abiding by your rules and staying at home, you're probably mistaken.

Teenagers are now finding a way to escape through vaping whether it's nicotine or marijuana, it's an easy, relatively cost-effective way to extricate themselves from this jail that has been created by the "experts" who didn't take into account the effect their actions would have on the children of this country and around the globe. Investigators surveyed 1000 Canadian adolescents about binge drinking, cannabis use, and vaping in the three weeks before and after social distancing began. They found that the frequency of both alcohol and cannabis increased during social isolation. 32% reported using substances with peers via technology and 24% used substances with peers face to face despite the mandate (Mdedg.com). "These authors suggest that teens who feared loss of friendships during quarantine might be more willing to engage in risky behaviors such as face-to-face substance use to maintain social status. while solitary substance use was related to both Covid19 fears and depressive symptomatology" Dr. Cataletto said (Mdedg.com).

So, how do you know if your child is vaping? Sometimes it's easy to wave off the symptoms as common teenage angst, but if it's unlike your child to be angsty or on edge, or if there is a quick change in his or her behavior, you need to question why. Your child might exhibit distorted thinking and behaviors. You might notice a change in his or her personality, abnormal movements, and other abnormal behaviors. They might become irritable and aggressive if they are going through withdrawal.  You might even notice interpersonal problems with friends and family as well as physical and psychological issues.

Some other facts about vaping from flavorshookkids.org. 97% of kids who vape use flavors. In the last two years, vaping has increased by 218% (that's a staggering number!) among middle schoolers and 135% among high schoolers. Teens are nearly 7 times more likely to vape nicotine than adults. Marijuana vaping among youths increased by 58% in a single year. All this seems very scary and Covid is only making these numbers jump.

There are many treatment options for Substance Use Disorders (SUD) or Addiction. But as a parent of a teen, the most important thing you can do is create an open and non-threatening line of communication with your child. Getting mad that they are vaping is not going to help the situation, it's only going to send your child running to the substance that you want them to so desperately quit. Find out why they have turned to vaping. If they are not willing to open up to you, see if they would be willing to talk to a therapist or counselor. I can't express enough how important it is to allow your child to talk about what is driving them to turn to vaping. Unfortunately, unless your child wants to quit, it's going to be difficult to get them to do so. Even if you forbid them they will find a way to vape. But if they do decide that they are willing to stop they will probably need help depending on how addicted they are to the substance they are vaping. Here are the options:

• Hospitalization for medical withdrawal
• Therapeutic communities
• Outpatient medication management and psychotherapy
• Intensive outpatient programs
• Residential treatment
• Multi-aid groups
• Self-help groups

I'm not here to scare you, only to open your eyes to what is happening to our teens and how we can help them as they try to navigate through this tough world that has been made even more difficult by Covid. I can't imagine being a teen during this time--they have lost more than a year of their childhood, a very important time of development that just might come back to haunt us years down the road. Let's try not to cover our eyes and pretend that all this will go away because it won't. Let's be proactive and try to guide them as best we can. Let's get them the help they need now, not years later when the damage is already done. And let's not forget to take care of ourselves. It's always important to keep ourselves afloat so that we can keep those around us from drowning.

Mental Health and COVID-19

Where do I start? Words like "pandemic", "quarantine", and "social distancing" have become part of everyday language, especially within the last week. I'm not here to talk about statistics, lecture you about staying inside, or discuss the physical symptoms of the coronavirus ad nauseum - not because it's not a big deal, but because literally everyone is talking about it. The conversations are important - and overwhelming.

We live in a world where we're one scroll a way from scary headlines and latest news. On the upside, it's never been easier to stay informed and connected. The downside is wide spread - yet understandable - fixation. As a parent of a kiddo on the spectrum, I know fixation, though somewhat inevitable, is not healthy. So am I saying we should hide our heads in the sand and avoid what's going on? No, it's essential to be informed, especially where health and safety are concerned. But now that we're all stuck inside with exponentially inflating numbers buzzing around our heads like flies and every phone conversation circling back to one topic, let's not forget mental health. It's okay to extend social distancing to social media and to limit how much you allow into your brain. It's okay to take a break, read a book, focus on your work, and talk about literally anything else. It doesn't mean your not taking this seriously. Sometimes social media makes us feel guilty for disconnecting. I have to constantly remind myself not to take the bait - for my own sanity.

This pandemic is affecting all of us in some way - those in vulnerable groups the most. But it's not just affecting us physically. No matter who you are, you're likely experiencing isolation, cabin fever, anxiety, and disruption in your normal routine. This is an adjustment for anyone. For those with underlying mental health conditions, current circumstances exacerbate already pervasive struggles. Anxiety sufferers, particularly those with germ-focused phobia, must deal with increased worry over getting sick, getting someone else sick, or a vulnerable loved one. Again, we are all dealing with these very appropriate worries. But, already present anxiety is that much more amplified. Although, if you prefer to be at home like me, certain anxieties (social) may actually be alleviated. On the other hand, if you're a small business owner or otherwise out of work, you are likely faced with financial uncertainty, especially given that none of us know how long we're in for.

Social distancing equals social isolation, especially for individuals like my mom, who live alone. Social isolation is depression's best friend. If you don't suffer from depression, this is a time to watch for it in yourself and those around you. Especially check in on those who live alone. Signs like lack of motivation, sleeping ore than usual, changes in appetite, and irritability (especially in children) can all be warning signs of depression. If you're a fellow depression warrior, now is the time to take extra care of yourself. If you rely on a routine that has been subsequently interrupted, create a new or modified routine. It might sound simple, but getting up and dressed and showered even when you won't be stepping foot outside your door may help retain some normalcy. While it's healthy to distance from social media, it's also important to keep connected. I've done this by participating in the live streaming of my church services, spending time coming up with new activities to do with my kids, enjoying rare moments to talk with my husband with fewer distractions (sports, a long commute to and from the office), and maintaining regular phone contact with my mom.

This isn't the time to put extra pressure on yourself. If you have a family and even if you don't extra chores will be created y people being home all day using dishes, taking things out, etcetera. If you have restless kids at home like I do, you may see an entirely new level of clutter. My ten year old was recently looking for his GoPro charger. He asked me where it was. I can't even keep track of my own stuff, so I told him to look in his room. Apparently, this ultimately fruitless search necessitated taking every book off his shelf and leaving it stranded on the floor. Well, at least he can keep himself busy cleaning his room. Spoiler alert: hasn't happened yet.

I got some great advice from my son's therapist. She encouraged me to avoid putting too much pressure on academics, instead focusing on mental health right now. I feel like this is good advice anyway, but with a first grader on the autism spectrum, I have to check my expectations. Though my older son is used to homeschooling, E is used to the structured environment of school. His day to day has changed - not ideal for someone on the spectrum. Fortunately, we have access to e learning and his teacher and aids have been great about filling his virtual subject folders. I've been employing the use of our visual schedule to intersperse school with free time, but I have to remember not to push it. In general, we all have this fear of falling behind. Maybe we can put that aside for now. Maybe we can take a lesson from all the chaos and learn to slow down, prioritizing our health and well-being. Now is not the time to introduce new material or stress about extra screen time.

As we navigate this new, uncertain terrain, we are inundated with reminders to practice proper hygiene and safeguard our physical health. let's remind ourselves to also focus on and safeguard our mental health too.

Please feel free to leave your own tips for mental healthcare, as well as ideas for helping those living alone feel connected, in the comments