1. Don’t ignore the disappointment or brush it under the rug. Address it and have your child share why they think it happened, what went wrong and how they think they can solve it or avoid it in the future.
3. Don’t get stuck looking at the problem from one point of view. Help your child see the problem from other vantage points – put them in the shoes of the one on the other side of the problem. This allows them to learn how to have more empathy and tolerance for others.
4. Don’t show your child that you are depressed about their situation in order to seem supportive (this is a tough one for me – obviously). Children need to learn by example and they certainly don’t need the burden of your disappointment while dealing with their own. Talk it out, help them figure out why it happened and what can be done to resolve it or avoid it in the future.
5. Don’t accept poor behavior due to the disappointment. Teach them how to manage those feelings without melting down or taking it out on those around them. Sometimes all they need is for you to validate their feelings.
If these things don’t work, there’s always a bottle of wine (for you, not your child!) because you are going to need it after you deal with talking them off the ledge. Lately, since I can’t seem to solve her school problems, I have gotten my daughter involved in activities that make her happy and where she can experience more victories than defeats. When your child is chronically disappointed, every small positive is a reason to celebrate with them and with yourself (with wine, after tuck-in)!
#childdisappointment #disappointment #howtodealwithdisappointment