Thursday, July 16, 2015

Random Thoughts Thursday: Random Thoughts When Insomnia Strikes

The other day my friend and I were discussing the odd phenomenon of being completely, uselessly, paralytically exhausted and yet not being able to sleep. We were hoping to crack the code on why this happens, but our insomnia is still a mystery. Insomnia would actually be useful if I could get my ass out of bed and accomplish something. Is their really any greater waste of time than lying in bed from 10:30 (Oh, I'll go to bed early!) until 3:30 A.M. simultaneously wide awake and exhausted into paralysis? True story. This is my frustrating paradox. I can't sleep to save my life so I lie there with my eyes closed listening to whatever crap is on TV at that time of night (think bad reality shows meet infomercials). Yes, yes, I know having screens on triggers the brain to be awake blah blah blah. The other problem with insomnia is that it's really boring, which brings me to my next question: if I can't sleep, why don't I get up and use my quiet house to DO something? Well, I think about it, but although I can't sleep I am really tired and I think I will fall asleep ANY MINUTE. Actually, I think many random thoughts during my hours of insomnia, so hey what better topic for a Random Thoughts Thursday post? See, I am using my insomnia productively. Here are just a few thoughts I had the other night while attempting to sleep.

I am going to bed early tonight. Finally I won't be tired tomorrow. I will wake up refreshed.

I am so tired. I bet I'll fall asleep right away.

I better make sure my alarm is set, just in case Elliott decides to do something drastic like sleep past 6:00 A.M.

I can't believe I thought Vacation Bible School started at 9:30. I totally would have been on time today if it had started at 9:30. Oh well, I'll be on time tomorrow. Although, I should set realistic expectations to avoid setting myself up for failure. I'll shoot for five minutes late.

Why am I still awake? I'll turn on Mystery Diagnosis. I'm so glad we switched from Dish to Comcast. Now we get all these great channels. I'll always have something to listen to to help me fall asleep. Our security system was a down grade, but look at all of these channels! Priorities.

Wow, I have at least two of these symptoms. I wonder if I have a rare genetic blood disorder like this guy.

I really need to get those thank you cards out.

Mystery Diagnosis is over and I'm still awake. I wonder if I should use this time to write. No, I'll be tired in the morning if I don't get some sleep. I'll just lie still and I'll be asleep soon.

Teen Mom is on? I didn't even know this show was on anymore. Wow, and I though I didn't have my shit together. At least my husband and I don't fight over text messages. WTF? How can this girl's fiance afford to give her a vacation to Saint Thomas Island for her birthday? Weren't they just bitching about not being able to afford formula? What's with the priorities? It's almost like downgrading a security system in favor of more TV channels.

I am so embaressed that I just watched that show.

I am still awake, maybe I should fold the laundry.

Why am I always thinking about laundry? I think it is a medical fact that thinking about laundry exacerbates insomnia.

I wonder if Elliott is going to sleep through the night tonight. This is like Murphy's Law. He is sleeping and I can't.

Damn, it's midnight already. I wonder if anyone else is still awake. I really want to text someone. But then if they are sleeping and they have one of those obnoxious notification sounds like birds chirping, I will wake them up and then they  will probably think I am a needy weirdo for texting them at midnight to see if they are awake. Then they will want to back away from the friendship. They will make friends with the cool, put together mom at the gym and tell her about their lame, needy ex-friend. Pretty soon I will be blacklisted by all suburban moms.

My friends wouldn't do that. But still, I shouldn't wake them up.

I still haven't signed Aiden up for swim lessons and it's mid July. what kind of mom am I? Although in my defense the weather has been crappy. Maybe I should sign him up for indoor swim lessons and call it a day. Although they cost more money, and what is summer for if not outdoor swim lessons? I should check the ten day forecast and go from there.

Maybe I should use my quiet time to write. If I'm not asleep after this rerun of Supernanny I'll write.

Listen Joe Frost, this mom is doing the best she can utilizing the naughty spot! I actully think the main problem is calling it a naughty spot. That just doesn't sound right. Let's stick with time out. I don't know how it is in Britain, but around these parts "naughty spot" has a different connotation.

One sheep, two sheep, three sheep. Does this ever actually work?

I am going to be tired tomorrow. Although, if I fall asleep now I could still get six hours. That's not bad. Ready set sleep!

Okay, Supernanny is over and I'm still awake. I have so many ideas for blog posts, which one should I write? I am really tired now, I bet I will fall asleep.

Five hundred channels and nothing to watch? What, people don't watch TV at 2:00 A.M. The only thing on is infomercials and Sex Sent Me To The ER. Decisions decisions.

Why would someone pay three hundred dollars for a vacuum steam mop combo?

Hmm, this vacuum steam mop combo does a lot. It even picks up pet hair.

I really need to vacuum the couch.

I am going to be tired tomorow. Actually today since it is after 3:00 A.M. Oh well, I'll just go to be early tomorrow night...

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