"Mom, why do you sit down to pee?"
A better question might be, when will I learn to lock the bathroom door?
"Mom, why did Office Max and Wicked Good go up to Heaven?"
Referring to a store and cafe that used to be in the strip mall across from our house and have closed.
"Mom, do you know the number to Waste Management? Can't you just look it up on the internet?"
If I have a moment to sit on the computer that is the first thing I want to do.
"We need a garbage can that says our city on it! Our garbage can doesn't say our city on it! Can we get a city garbage can?! I am going to save my money for a city garbage can."
This one is every day. He counts his money every night. Some six year old boys save their money for games or toys. Mine is saving his for a garbage can.
"Mom, I have fifty dollars, so I need two more tens to get to seventy and then I can buy a garbage can. I asked God for two more ten dollars; why isn't he giving them to me yet?"
I don't know, but next time you ask Him can you also ask how my Lexus is coming along? There must be a back up in the delivery center....
"Hey Mom, did you every watch a two year old before Elliott?"
"Yes, Aiden, you were a two year old once, four years ago in fact."
"Okay, but did you ever watch a two year old before me?"
"Yes, I used to babysit two year old twins when I was in college."
"Do you think those kids who you babysat could still be LIVING TODAY?"
Apparently I'm a dinosaur and the two year old children for whom I nannied in my college days are in their nineties.
"Hey, Mom, how come every time we come to Fifth Avenue the light turns red?"
I have asked myself this question many times.
"Hey, Mom, how come we're always late for everything?"
I can think of two reasons and they're both in this car. Also, the light on Fifth Avenue.
"Mom, how many minutes late are we today?"
"Mom, is dinner ready, yet? How about now? How about now?"
No, sorry, it still hasn't learned to cook itself.
"Mom, can we have a play date on August 2nd?"
I don't even know what we're doing tomorrow.
"Mom, how come Elliott is two?"
He was born two years ago.
"Mom, how do babies get out of tummies?"
The doctor performs a magic trick.
"Mom, did you call Waste Management yet?"
"Mom, why are you sitting down?"
I am pretending to search for the number for Waste Management.
"Mom, I heard you tell Alex's mom that when you are in the car by yourself you listen to music with inappropriate words. What are the words? Tell me."
"I am not going to tell you. They are grown up words just like coffee is a grown up drink."
Funny how he can't here me when I tell him to clean up, yet this he heard this while riding his bike down the sidewalk.
"Mom, if we wanted to run in the sprinkler and we didn't have a sprinkler, what would you say?"
"I'd say, 'we don't have a sprinkler'."
"Then do you think we'd cry?"
"Probably."
"THEN what would you say?"
"Let's not focus on hypothetical crying."
"What's that mean?"
"Crying that isn't really happening."
"Okay, WAAH WAAH! Elliott, cry!"
"Hey Mom, guess what?"
"What?"
"You're the best mom in the whole world."
Aww, and to think I was almost getting tired of answering questions. What better to hear at the end of a long day? And they said it was a thankless job....
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