Friday, May 15, 2015

A Letter To My Birth Mother

After I read Kat's amazing letter to her mother (my mother-in-law), not only was I impressed with her memory ('cause I can't seem to remember yesterday let alone, all the specifics of childhood), but I was also touched by her sentiment and the truth that, we learn how hard it is to be a parent once we become one ourselves. I have a lot to say on this but, the purpose of this post is to thank someone, who never gets thanked on Mother's Day for the selfless decision she made over forty-seven years ago.

To My Birth Mother,

Not a day goes by that I don't give you a silent thought, a 'thank you', for your selfless decision to carry me for nine months and give me away to a family you never met. Because, for me, I know I wouldn't be here today if you would have made a different decision.

Even with abortion being illegal at the time, I know you had resources that would have allowed you to easily dispose of me, yet you didn't. Whatever the reason, I am humbled by your decision to carry me, nurture me, feel me move inside of you, go through the pain of labor and then hand me over to a couple who wanted me so desperately. By your selfless act, you fulfilled the dreams of a couple who wanted a sibling for their daughter, but couldn't give her one naturally. You gave a little girl a sister who she prayed for night after night. You allowed me, a tiny insignificant being, to be significant, to be someone people would love and be loved by. By giving me life, you allowed my children (your grandchildren) to come into this world - without your selfless decision, they would not be here today, nor would their future children or grandchildren.

Your selfless act created a ripple effect that will continue to grow well after we both cease to exist on this planet. Everything I do, my children do, their children do, is because of you. You may have thought of your pregnancy with me as a big mistake, but I think of it as God's ultimate test of your commitment to life and of your strength, not only in pure will, but also in character. It takes an incredibly strong person to do what you did. Because of you, I have a love for God that exceeds any formal teachings from a church. My love is embedded in the knowledge that He trusted you enough to carry me and do what was right by me.

From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU. Thank you for giving me life, thank you for creating endless possibilities for me, thank you for not taking the easy way out, thank you for thinking of more than yourself, thank you for your incredibly selfless act and thank you for teaching me how precious and important life really is. I am, and always will be grateful for you! Happy Mother's Day!

Your daughter,


  1. Replies
    1. Very well daid, Jan! Birth mothers are truly amazing and have a selflessness beyond my comprehension, and as you said don't get thanked. Here's to every mother who chose to give her baby life and had the strength to give birth and hand her child over to amother family.

  2. Thank you Jan for thanking the wonderful women who chose life for their little ones and then chose the best life for them. I truly believe they are exceptional mothers. God bless them all and God bless you for sharing the beauty of adoption.
    Liz Dubenetzky