I thought that when I graduated from college, I was done. I thought I wouldn't have to worry about grades, tests, projects and homework ever again. But then, I had kids.
Yes, we are embarking on the last two weeks of school (for my high schoolers) and I think my head is going to explode. Not over their great willingness to study, to stay up late plowing through their textbooks or going over old quizzes and tests while referring to their notebooks filled with pages upon pages of notes they have taken diligently during the semester - no, of course not. That would be too logical, too mainstream. No, my head is going to explode over their summeritis that seems to have infiltrated their bloodstream and has taken over their bodies and their brains leaving them almost incapable of studying for longer than fifteen minutes at a stretch.
What recourse do I have but to sit their asses down at the dining room table and force them to study? All the while, I sit (or my husband) with them to make sure they are really studying and not texting or doing random shit on their computer or Ipad? So now, I am a prisoner in my own home, at my own dining room table for the next two weeks - fantastic!
I looked up how to survive Summeritis and there is nothing! Can you believe, with all that's on the web, there is not one helpful piece of advice for this temporary yet very real phenomenon? I need someone to throw me a rope, keep me from sinking into the "I'll suck you down to the depths of hell" quicksand! Of course, since there is no manual on how to survive this, I thought I would strum up some advice of my own, are you ready?
1. Make sure your house is fully stocked with your favorite libations.
2. Drink libations until you don't care anymore. Drink until you start to think that the idea of your child living at home for the rest of their lives seems suddenly appealing to you. After all, when you are old, you will now have someone to wipe your behind, take out the garbage and pluck those hideous thick gray whiskers from your chin.
3. Keep drinking. Because if you begin to sober up, you will feel like crap and now you will care, but your head will hurt too much to do anything about it!
Seriously, there's really no other cure for summeritis than summer itself. If you're not into drinking yourself into oblivion, here are some more sound ideas:
1. Have your son/daughter get organized.
2. Have a place in your home where quiet, uninterrupted studying can happen.
3. Take scheduled study breaks.
4. Make time to do something fun, take the stress off.
5. Create incentives.
6. Provide plenty of yummy snacks and drinks.
7. Encourage a good night's sleep.
8. Find time to laugh.
9. If you're religious, pray!
And then, when summer is finally here, CELEBRATE! Until, until..... you get that damn summer work packet! And then, let the nagging begin AGAIN!!!!
Good luck everyone! And if your kids are already done, you're one lucky son of a gun!
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